Pete and I were married in the month of April. Andy's birthday is in the month of April. Easter is in the month of April. April Fool's Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Opening Day for baseball...again - in the month of April.
But now I have to add that our father passed away in the month of April. We had his wake in the month of April. We had his funeral in the month of April.
I keep saying that I need this year to be over because 2010 has just not been a good year so far. But the reality is that I just can't face this. Everyone says to live in the moment, be true to your feelings - but I'm not ready for that. I'd rather just move on and start new. Start happy. I want to let go of the last images that keep replaying in my head and I want to remember the good times.
Joey just got up. He said to me 'I don't want to get up. If I get up that means the day has to start.' That sums it all up. That's how we all feel right now. We want to be anywhere but in the present. Anywhere but the here and now. The here and now hurts so bad. It's a pain we've never felt and a pain we don't want to live through.
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