The meeting

You know how you see on TV when the doctor calls the family into a room to 'talk' about what's to come? That's what meeting we were having. Nothing you ever expect to have to live through. You don't think these things will/can happen to you. They only happen to other people or on TV. But not in real life. Not in our life. Not in my life. Until now.

In the room are: Mom, Peter, Amanda, Joey, Andy, Ray, Linda, Rebecca, myself and the doctor. Kristen was here but she offered to watch Christina in the waiting room.

The doctor starts by saying that my dad is very sick. He went a very long time without oxygen on Friday night and then had very low oxygen levels throughout the day on Saturday. If he were to pull through this - he won't be the same person that he was before. But they can't say anything definitive because they just don't know. She continues to say that there are decisions that should be made. If his heart were to stop again - would we want them to do CPR? She said that if his heart were to stop it wouldn't be because his heart is weak. His heart is actually strong but it's the rest of his body that is not well. We could restart his heart but that doesn't mean the rest of him would get better - we would just be prolonging the inevitable.

Wow. A lot to take in at this point. She also said that if he were to get through the next day or two and was still as unstable as he is - there would be more considerations to talk about. But at this point - we needed to wait and see.

My mom left the decision up to us...5 kids who would take his place at any moment in time. How are we suppose to come up with these kinds of decisions? I know we're all adults but NO ONE should have to go through this. Some questions were asked to the doctor - one of which was 'What would YOU do if this were your family member?' and her answer was simple: I'd let him go if his heart were to stop but I would continue doing everything else possible until/if that were to happen.

Our decision was not to restart his heart if his heart were to stop again. It's a simple statement but holds the weight of the world on our shoulders.