Kidney's still not working

But the specialist said it was in fact from the medications. So they are weening him off meds as they are able to and we'll have to wait and see.

I went with Pete to pick up the girls from his parents house. I was going to stay behind and sleep but I missed them so I went. They were in great moods tonight so it made for a really good night. After we had dinner we gave the girls a bath and then did the night time thing. Hailey started to fuss but I was prepared! I said 'Hailey...mommy has to take a shower. Don't fall asleep yet - wait until I'm done showering and then I'm going to come back in and sleep with you.' She was asleep before I even got in the shower. Sure...I feel bad for lying about this but will do what it takes to outsmart the kid as long as I can.

After they went to bed - I showered and then headed back to the hospital. The plan was not to sleep here. The plan failed. I'll be sleeping here. I brought Yahtzee and Scrabble. I even stopped and bought coffee for Little Brother and Peter. But I forgot LB's boxer shorts...the one thing he asked that I bring. Lol..sorry LB!

I'm so glad I came here when I did. My dad has been doing this 'raise the eyebrow' thing all day when someone talks to him. They don't want him awake so it was a clue that his medication needed to be changed and/or increased. But to see him react even just the slightest was amazing. What was more amazing was to see the face of my precious Little Brother light up. It brings a whole range of emotions to me. My 23 y/o brother shouldn't be excited that my dad moved his eyebrows because he said hello. But at the same time - my dad is alive and that alone is enough to make us all smile.

We're not anywhere close to being out of the woods. I know this. I just really pray that this isn't going to come crashing down in a heartbeat - which is quite possible. We are all trying to stay positive and keep our heads high. It's hard. I still cry when I say goodbye because I know that it's a very real possibility that it could be the last time I get to say goodbye.

I need sleep but I keep telling myself 'what if I go home tonight and he dies?' and then I reason it out by saying 'what's another night....when you don't know how many more you have.' Ugh...it's tearing me apart. Tears me apart to see my sister knowing how much of a daddy's girl she is. Tearing me apart to see my brothers who are always so strong be brought to their knees in the blink of an eye. Tearing me apart to look at my mother and know that she might soon be a widow. But when we're here - we're positive and we're joking and we're telling my dad he's fine and he's coming home tomorrow. Who knows when tomorrow will come though. And who knows if tomorrow will come.