Game Over

Tonight was only better on my half.  The girls were miserable.  All of them.  As soon as I walked in the door they were cranky.  We managed to get midway thru dinner before a complete melt down.  Then there was a bit of calm while we gave them all a bath but as soon as the water was out of the tub it was instant chaos.  And I knew it was coming.  We must have conditioned them to be this way!  Because that's the only way I could have known that this was imminent.  But rather than lose my cool - I took a bit of advice from EVERYONE that gave it to me (and the book) and put it all together.  I asked once who would like me to get them dressed.  Emily came over to me.  Hailey screamed at me 'NOOOOOOOO MOMMA!  DADDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  I ignored her completely.  Pete was fighting with Hannah who also screamed 'NO MOMMA!  DADDA DO IT!'  But once Pete was trying to get her dressed - she wanted me to do it.  I simply said 'No.  I asked you and you said you wanted Daddy so now Daddy will get you dressed.'  Nuclear meltdown. 

I finished getting Emily dressed and got out the hairdryer.  Hailey was still naked - Hannah only 1/2 dressed.  I blow dried Emily's hair - and the whole time Hailey was screaming at me that she wanted me to wait until she was dressed before I started drying anyones hair.  I just ignored her.  She threw her pj's, slapped Hannah, threw herself on the floor, screamed in my face...and I kept ignoring her. 

Once I finished drying Emily's hair I asked Hannah if she wanted me to dry hers.  She was dressed and Pete was working on getting Hailey dressed (who was still screaming).  Hannah said 'NO MOMMA DRY MY HAIR!  DADDY DO IT!'  So I simply said 'Ok.  When Daddy is finished getting Hailey dressed he can dry your hair.'  And I took Emily into the bathroom to brush her teeth.  More screaming from Hannah.  'MOMMA DRY MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!  MOMMA DO IT!  MOMMMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!!'  Over and over and over again.  I closed the bathroom door - and that just lead to an even greater level of meltdown.  I finished brushing Emily's teeth and brought her back in the room to get a book to read.  Hailey was asking me to wait so she could read too.  I said I would if she asked nicely and also let Pete brush her teeth. 

Mind you - I stayed calm.  Didn't raise my voice at all, was down at their level, ignored the misbehaved, rewarded the good behavior with some positive reinforcement...and Hailey caught on.  She realized I meant business.  She went and got her teeth brushed, came back in the room, asked me in the nicest way possible if she could sit on my lap and read me a book.  Hannah just could not get over herself.  She screamed in my face, slapped Hailey (tables turned), threw herself on the floor, wouldn't let Pete brush her teeth or dry her hair - just would not give up.  Emily found it hard to control herself too apparently because she joined in the meltdown with Hannah. 

I read 3 books to Hailey (the norm) and Emily came around by the last book.  Hannah was just beside herself that I would consider turning the page when she wasn't done throwing a fit.  How could I be so miserable to her?  Ha!  Easily my child.  One day you'll understand. 

So we finished books and Hailey got to turn off the lights like she normally does, Emily got to count to 10 in English and Spanish before being bounced on her mattress and Hannah even got to turn on the radio in between screams.  I on the other hand gave them all a kiss and said 'Good night!  I hope tomorrow is a better day.'  And that was it for me. 

By the time I was downstairs at least 2 of them were at the door but I refused to go back up there.  I always have to be the bad guy and I just don't have the patience for this any longer.  Somehow we managed to let them know that it's ok to yell, scream, hit and be miserable.  Because if we didn't 'let' this happen - it wouldn't be so continuous.  I told Pete that the tables are turned.  If he wanted peace and quiet - he was going to have to find a way to do it on his own.  He said that it 'works' when I go up there and tell them that it's time for bed and no more crying/getting out of bed.  But guess what?  It worked for him too - and I didn't have to be the bad guy. 

Plus - I think they might even have an inkling that I mean business.  I mean...what kind of Mom reads books to one child when the other 2 aren't 'ready'?!?! 

I will ask once if they would like their hair dried, once if they would like me to brush their teeth and once if they would like to get dressed after their bath.  One time.  I'm no longer going back and forth with the 'No Daddy do it, No Mommy do it, No Daddy do it, No Mommy do it!'  It seems to be a game to them now.  And I'm not playing.  I didn't read this in any book or get this advice from anyone and I'm sure that some of you (if you're still reading this) are thinking that it's a bit harsh.  I agree.  But the alternative is just as harsh because after last night I realized that an 'angry' me isn't worth anything at all.  So better to have a 'harsh' me.  You know what else?  They're not gonna die if they go to bed with wet hair, if they don't brush their teeth or even if they choose to go to bed naked!