BAD BAD MOMMY!

We'll fast forward to bed time tonight.  >>  Ok the girls are all in bed.  

Pete leaves to go hang out with some friends.  Hannah is still crying screaming her head off for daddy to 'rub back one more time!'  I had it.  It had been 30 minutes and she wasn't giving up. Emily and Hailey were sleeping. So I go upstairs, take the child proof stupid thing off the door that keeps it from closing all the way (so they don't lose a damn finger or two) and I shut the door.  Well don't you know that the little sh*t locked the door!  Reached right over her bed and turned the lock!  She didn't even get out of her bed!!!!!!!  Just reached over and boom...put me in COMPLETE PANIC MODE  calm mommy mode.  So I say as calm as I can:
 'Hannah - unlock the door honey' 
'NO HANNAH CAN'T!  DADDY RUB BACK ONE MORE TIME!'
'Ok - just unlock the door.  Turn the lock for mommy so I can come in.'
'NO HANNAH CAN'T!  DADDY RUUUUUUB BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!'

In the meantime - I called Pete to find out where the key is to the doors.  This is how that conversation went:
Pete answering his phone 'Hello there!'
Me 'Where is there a key to unlock the doors upstairs Hannah locked me out - I'm gonna kill these kids!'
Pete 'There is no key.  You'll have to just use something.' 
Me 'thanks I'll call you back'  But really thinking 'WTF do you mean we have no key?  How can there be no key to a fkg door that locks?  This is YOUR fault somehow!' 
I get a knife (wtf?), a set of keys and I put my shoes on (I was ready to kick down the door but had to get some traction!). 

Back at the door (I was only gone a millisecond trust me....)  Try the key, doesn't fit.  Look at the knife and think 'this isn't gonna work'  So I gear up to bust through the door.  I say 'Hannah - stay on your bed Honey...are you in bed?'  'DADDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!'  Who the hell am I kidding?  I can't break down a fkg door!  The knife will have to do.....and it worked! 

I put the stupid child safety thing back on the door and told Hannah if she got out of bed one more time she was sleeping outside (don't test my patience!).  Yeah...I know - idle threats are a big no no in the world of parenting but you know what?  I don't give sh*t tonight!  The kid locked me out!  ME!  And her biggest concern...was getting daddy to rub her back 'one more time!!!!!!!!!!!' 

I'm laughing about it now...but I wasn't at the time.  Oh at some point I called Pete back to tell him that it was all under control.  I even saved the blame game for later :)