Last night was far beyond bad. I jinxed it by saying that these nights haven't been the 'worst'. Thank you dear Lord for proving me wrong once again. Hannah screamed ie: screamed at the top of her lungs while throwing herself against her crib - that kind of scream...from 10:30 until 1:00 this morning. That's not a typo. That's 3 & 1/2 hours of listening to her scream. I went in several times, Pete went in several times. Each time she would calm down and want to be picked up. At one point I brought her downstairs and I layed on the couch while she screamed in the living room throwing her fit on the floor. The other two slept through it all luckily. I brought her back upstairs and she was nice and calm...until I put her back in her crib. The once again - the screaming began. At 1:00 I went and brought her back downstairs...and pretty much flipped out. How can ONE child scream FOR SO LONG? Reason was beyond me. Wouldn't she just get so tired she would fall asleep? You would think so - but nope. Won't she lose her voice from this? Apparently not. I had to make Pete come downstairs and deal with her. I was DONE. She got on my last nerve and I couldn't take it anymore. He slept on the couch with her until the other 2 woke up at 6:30.
So that's a whole 5 hours of sleep we got last night - again. We went to MyGym and came home. Once home it was time for naps. Yeah right. You guessed it - she screamed and screamed and screamed. I ended up going to get all 3 of them because she was keeping them all up. We get downstairs and Hannah's still screaming and crying. Done! I left and went to help my aunt move. She was moving to a new place and there was no way I was staying her for one more minute with this screaming kid.
I came back a few hours later and they were fine. Until bedtime. Once again - she's screaming and screaming and screaming. 1/2 hour it took her to fall asleep. And tonight - she can wake up the Pope for all I care. I'm not even going in her room. Oh - she also likes to smash her forehead against her crib in a fit of rage so she has a nice bruise dead center of her head now. I am considering sleeping the car tonight. But that's probably not legal to leave your kids in the house while you're in your car. Wish I had a garage...that would be legal I think.
I get so angry. I know that when she's having a meltdown I can easily redirect her to something else (during the day - not while she's suppose to be sleeping). But in order to take control of her I need to take control of my anger 1st. Because when I'm angry I don't care to redirect her. I just want her to find a way to console herself and get over her diva attitude. I know this post is harsh and I'm sure I'll delete it before they're old enough to read. I probably wouldn't want to read something like this from my past. But this is true life. This is what we go through and this what we're dealing with right now. Not the lollipops and giggles of toddler hood. And I'm sure like clockwork she's going to wake up between 10:00 and 10:30 tonight and we'll have yet another sleepless night. A night of yelling and screaming and blaming each other for who's fault it is that she's crying. Wondering if the neighbors have had enough (one mentioned to me yesterday that she can hear Hannah crying at night). One has already banged on the walls - I guess just to let us know she can hear us? Because she has to be smart enough to know that banging on the wall isn't going to calm the situation.
This phase needs to pass quickly.
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