Day 69

The night was long last night. Hannah spent about the whole night in our bed. It's hard not to just go in and get her and just let her sleep in our bed when that's all it takes to keep her from screaming. We're tired. Exhausted is more like it. I get it now - I understand why people let kids sleep in their beds. But I'm not caving that easily. Pete and I agreed after talking today - she'll cry all night long if that's what it takes tonight. I just don't want them getting use to sleeping our bed. We both stayed home today - and we both slept when they slept today. It will probably be a long night but she's staying in her own crib. As are the other two.

The medication that Emily started today didn't have the horrible side effects they warned us about. But it also didn't work to clear up her cough either. Ugh.

I have these moment during the day and I'm having them more and more often lately. I stop and look around as if I'm having an out of body experience. I wonder how we got here and I wonder how our parents did it. I wonder how any parents do it. Are we doing this right? Because this is it - one shot deal. No more tries after these 3 so if we mess up we don't get a 2nd chance at this. But then again - does anyone? Today - we were out and on the way home I must have heard a commercial about how heart disease is the #1 silent killer of women. No kidding! That's because we're mothers! And our kids give us so much to worry about! LOL

Today was ok. The girls all had some moments that drove Pete and I crazy but we agreed that it gets to us more because it's constant. When Emily was laughing and giggling - Hailey was crying and whining. When Hailey was finally laughing and giggling - Hannah was crying and whining. Some days it's non stop. We have 3 - so pretty much on the off days - there's always someone crying. And this is what gets to us. There's no break. No break from the whining, crying, screaming.......and it's hard to focus on the giggling and laughing when you've been worn down for so long. And we know these days also aren't going to last forever (please don't tell me not to wish away their lives because these are the 'best' times). All 3 are going through the same stages at the same time. That means we're having a hard time communicating with not one, not two - but three toddlers right now. They don't know how to tell us what they want, need or what's wrong. We don't know how to interpret their needs and desires as they become more complex. When we get one of them content - another one needs something. And so on.

I'm not complaining - just putting it out there that this isn't the easiest time of parenthood that we've had so far. It's also not the worst (go back to the girls blog and read the earlier days when I was breastfeeding...those days still take the cake!).