Shut the F^ck up...please.

The girls and I were very busy today.  But rather than chronicle our day - I'm going to blog about some things that people say....that they SHOULDN'T. 

1st - we walked to D&D this morning (well I walked...they rode in their wagon).  This is a great trip for us as it's 1 mile there and 1 mile back.  I get my exercise and they get donuts.  This will be a trip we make often since there's also a Baskin Robbins in the same plaza :)

Anyway - while in line at D&D the girls were playing around the stands that hold the line divider.  I have no problem with what they are doing since they're NOT doing anything wrong.  However the guy working behind the counter felt it necessary to say in a scolding voice "Oh my God - you guys need to be careful!"  Ummm...no.  I'm sweating, thirsty and about to spend money at your store.  You are NOT going to overstep your boundaries.  So I say to him "As their mother I can tell you we're all set...we got this.  They are just fine with what they're doing."  In my head I followed that up with "Now get my damn donuts and shut the F^ck up."  But I didn't. 

Then we went to 2 hospitals today to visit people.  At one hospital a drug rep walked by us while we were standing at the information booth.  This drug rep came back and handed THE GIRLS each a bag of fruit snacks and then said "I'm giving these to you because you're the most beautiful girls I've seen all day!"  I'm sure he meant well.  But look at it from my point of view.  How the hell am I suppose to get these girls NOT take shit from strangers?!?!  As if that wasn't bad enough - before I could get a word in - the woman giving me the info I requested said "Oh - those are like gummy...you better make sure they can chew them."  No shit lady.  Thanks...now shut the F^ck up.

Now - I'm not saying I don't appreciate the things people give to the girls. The lady at the information booth gave the girls balloons on our way out.  Plus - I, myself, took a pretzel from a complete stranger at the parade we went to.  But with all due fairness - she ASKED ME if the girls could have it and she handed it to ME.  I explained to the girls today that they NEVER eat anything from anyone unless they ask me 1st. 

Later in the day we went to the library.  I'm standing at the counter waiting for the librarian to get off the phone.  The girls are handing on the counter like monkeys swinging from a tree branch.  But they were being quiet and weren't doing anything WRONG.  The GROWN ADULT guy standing behind me in line says "Oh I think it would be more fun to CLIMB UP ONTO THE COUNTER!"  The girls stopped dead in their tracks, looked at him, looked at me, and went back to swinging.  But he didn't leave it alone.  He kept telling them to climb onto the counter.  Then he walked over and tried to show them HOW to get up on the counter.  I had to intervene.  So I said "They will get into trouble for doing that.  And they know they will get into trouble."  So he took his place back in line and said back to me "If I were their older brother - you wouldn't like me too much."  I soooooo wanted to say "I don't like you now so shut the F^ck up!"  But I didn't. 

Then the librarian gets off the phone.  She's getting me my library card and says "Twins."  Not a question...a statement.  So I say "Triplets."  In the same tone of voice.  She says "Well I don't see the 3rd one."  Ummm...does this mean she doesn't exist?  Lol  Then she looks around her computer, sees 'the 3rd one' and proceeds to say in the same matter of fact tone "I guess you're done."  Wow!  Thanks for helping with that life decision for me!  Now shut the F^ck up!

During our travels today someone also called Emily fat...to her face.  It was "Oh look at her...she's the fat one!"  The Lord must have held my tongue and my arms at the same time because this woman is still alive.  I quickly replied "She's healthy.  And she's also only in the 50th %ile for weight.  She's also tall.  She's beautiful and she's smart."  Now shut the F^ck up!  I can't react in these situations because then the girls will react and that's not what I want for them.  Every minute of every day has to be a lesson.  I guess today's lesson was patience. 

I'm used to the comments.  I'm numb to the regular insults.  But sometimes I wish I could speak what's on MY mind to these people. 

I guess I just know that I'm more aware of what I say sometimes.  I know that advice isn't always wanted or warranted.  I know that some days I do in fact look like the nanny more than the mom.  But I'm human.  And most times these comments hurt.  When you see someone that has 3 kids...would you say "I guess you're done."  No.  You would NEVER look at a grown woman and say 'She's fat!' in front of her face.  So why do it to my child? 

The girls are smart.  They pick up on EVERY SINGLE THING THAT I SAY OR DO.  EVERYTHING. 
If I can model patience and understanding then I hope they will have some of that to carry with them.  But at the same time - I need to find a balance so they don't get walked all over.  They MUST find a voice of their own and be able to speak what's on their mind.  Finding that balance will be difficult but I won't stop trying.

But I might tell some people to shut the F^ck up along the way....