Feeling overwhelmed...again

I am doing some research trying to find a preschool for the girls to attend.  I'm not looking for much - just 2 days a week for maybe 3 hours each day.  Something to break up the week for them, a place that will slowly guide them towards getting use to a curriculum and schedule and school and all that stuff.  I called 5 schools today. 

The 1st school happened to be a magnet school.  They will only open 15 spots in the fall and then the children that applied are chosen by lottery.  That's out.

School #2 wants over $9,000 per school year per child.  That's out. 

School #3 wasn't extremely nice but said they could 'check and see if they might have 3 open spots for triplets in the upcoming school year."  Thanks.  I'll hold my breath waiting for your call.

School #4 is a Catholic school and seems to be reasonable in price.  Only $3,200 for a 2 day program.  They would attend 2 days from 7:50 - 11:15.  Lunch would cost more so I'd feed them at home.  It's only 32 weeks but at least they 'get in the program'.

School # 5 wants over $5,000 for their 3 day program.  That's out.

I guess I called 6 schools...cuz I'm waiting for 1 more school to call me back.  They didn't have a website so their tuition fees weren't listed.  They also didn't answer the phone and I had to leave a message.  Maybe their staff is actually caring for children and saving on the cost of tuition by letting the answering machine take messages rather than hiring a Yale graduate to direct my call and charging me 1/2 million dollars for my 'child's education'.  But who knows.

You would think I should say screw it and not worry about putting them in school.  I'm a stay at home mom anyway so what's the point?  Here's the point.  I can't offer them the things that a school can offer them.  I can teach them what they need to know - sure.  But I'm ONE PERSON.  And I'm not a toddler or preschooler.  They KNOW that when I'm 'pretending' to play - I'm pretending.  I'm not really in their little world.  When they play with other kids...they ARE in a different world.  My innocence is lost to that.  Every adults innocence is lost to that kind of play.  They NEED other kids.  They also need the curriculum.  I'm not about to set up 3 desks and have 'school' time during the day here.  This is HOME for them...not school. 

Ugh...just feeling so overwhelmed.  On one of the pages there is a preschool 'test' that kids can take.  My kids would fail.  Why?  Because they actually don't know all of their shapes.  They can't differentiate between sizes.  They can't count to 20 yet and they certainly can't point at 20 dots and count them all.   Light/heavy, wide/narrow, fewer/more...identify pennies, nickles, dimes and quarters...the answer is no to all of it. 

I know there are kids that go right to kindergarten and I'm sure they turn out just fine.  I just want my girls to have every advantage available to them to keep up or get ahead.  Doesn't every parent? 

More funny stuff

Sunday we went to Rose's Berry Farm to have breakfast and then pick raspberries.  LB came along so it was kind cool that each of the girls got some 1/1 time.  We ate more raspberries than we brought home.  It was a really nice day and we all had a lot of fun!

I'm noticing the girls (especially Hannah) becoming more aware that they can 'lie' to get things.  For example: The girls get mints after going potty at Pete's moms house.  When we came home today Hannah said to me "I didn't get any mints at Grandma's so I need a prize now please."  Hmmm...
They're also good for saying that "Daddy said we can _______" or "Mommy said we can__________" when in reality neither one of us had even been asked anything.  I know this is just the start of a very trying time and very fine line.  I know they're exploring and I have to give them space.  But at the same time I don't want them to think it's ok to lie.  Right now I'm just explaining to them what they're doing.  "Hannah - I know you had mints at Grandma's house today.  If you say you didn't - when you really did, that's called lying and we don't do that.  Did you have a mint today?"  "Yes."  "Great! Thanks for telling mommy the truth."  Hindsight I probably should have given her a prize anyway but I didn't.  I don't know why - I think she sidetracked me with something else lol.

And today's funny comment is (per usual) from Emily.  After getting home from being at Pete's parents - I asked Emily where her attitude came from (she was just being miserable).  She replied:
"I just forgot to leave my attitude at Grandma's house." 

Funny stuff

The kids are definitely more vocal with their feelings and I'm all for it.  And sometimes the things they say can be pretty hysterical. 

Today I asked Emily if she needed help with something.  She said "Nah - it's ok mom.  I got this!" 

I asked one of them to do something and the 1st thing I heard was "BUT MOM!!!!" and right after I hear Hannah say "NO BUTS!" 

I told the girls to stop playing on the stairs.  Hannah came to me in the kitchen and said "Emily didn't listen to you...she still on the stairs." and from the other room I hear Hailey shout "Worry about yourself Hannah!" 

They repeat EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Grandparents

Yesterday Meme and Shushi (my grandmother and her identical twin sister) and Grumps came down for a visit.  The girls had a BLAST.  It was nice to see them all spending time together.

Today the girls went shopping with Pete's parents.  They took the girls (and the van lol) to Khols and then out to lunch at McD's.  This is the 1st time they've gone shopping with someone else (without Pete and myself!). 

Tomorrow...I'm taking the girls to see their 1st movie.  Should be fun!  (hopefully)

Weekly posts and BUBBLE GUM

Maybe it'll be an easier goal to post weekly rather than daily.  I swear I had more time when I worked a paying 40 hour a week job. 

I am obsessed with gum chewing.  I chew gum all the time...and the girls are obsessed with watching me and asking me to blow bubbles.  So yesterday I gave them each a piece of gum.  We started with yummy strawberry gum.  They all sat down in a circle and put the gum in their mouth.  We talked about how we only chew it and don't swallow it.  We don't take it out of our mouths and we don't play with it.  If it gets in our hair we'll have to cut our hair off. When we're done chewing gum we put it in the garbage.  With all the rules out in the open - they chomped away for a good 10 minutes.  It was great!  They didn't say a word for 10 minutes straight!  Then they wanted to try the minty gum.  So I said that when Daddy got home we'd show him we can chew gum and we would use the minty kind.  So they all spit their gum out in the garbage and figured it was worth the wait for Pete to come home.

Pete comes home and we were at the park.  When we came home - they immediately grabbed the gum and opened and chewed and chomped and they were so proud to show their Daddy they can chew gum.  I missed the part of the lecture about not running with gum in their mouth.  Emily and Hailey smashed heads, Hailey gasped and down went the gum.  She started choking.  She got it up pretty quickly though and after we had the 'don't chew gum and walk' lecture.  lol

Ugh

Where on earth does the time go?  It's going by so fast :(  This week flew by.  It was HOT so the girls and I spent a lot of time outside in the water.  I'd say the pool but they don't really like the pool - or the slip n slide.  They prefer to play with the hose instead!  It's fine - we're all having fun so that's what matters. 

Today we went up to my cousin Kate's house for a picnic.  Lots of family and lots of fun.  But more importantly - the girls played with Kaleigh, Daniel and Christopher ALONE.  They didn't require Pete or me to by right next to them! They went outside and played up in Kaleighs room...all without the need for us!  Some would say it's bitter sweet.  I see their need for independence as huge leaps though.  Just in the last blog I was saying how hard it is to get them to be comfortable around other people.  So today was great!  AND IT WAS RELAXING!  I'm sure the shot of tequila helped........

Bad news came my way today though.  A friend - someone I worked with at UConn - was stabbed and shot to death by her ex-husband.  He then shot himself.  Both of their teenage sons were home at the time and I can't even imagine the repercussions this will cause for them.  I don't understand why people think it's ok to hurt other people.  Even sadder is that she knew this was going to happen.  She told everyone around her that he was going to kill her and that there wasn't anything anyone could do.  And she was right.  No matter how often the police were involved - it wasn't enough in the end.  I don't even know what to say or how to feel.  She wasn't a 'best' friend but she was a friend and I'm sad that the world had to lose her so early.  But I think I feel more emotion for her sons.  They lost both parents in one hateful, senseless act of violence.  There are no excuses that could make this less painful to accept.  It's a bitter part of reality that there really are downright bad people in the world.  I guess I'm sort of numb to it right now. 

Tired

I'm exhausted.  Physically and emotionally.  Emily has been attached to my leg and every time I turn around she's asking if I'm leaving.  It's not healthy...for her or me.  I love these kids with all my heart and soul.  I'm thankful (more than ever) that I am able to have this time at home with them.  But I must find a way to break away and get them to realize there's a world outside of mommy.  There are only a handful of people they will stay with 'willingly'.  My mother-in-law, my brother Joey and Pete's sister Rosemary.  Ok that's not even a handful!  Hannah & Hailey also have no problem staying with my brother Andrew.  The problem isn't that I can't stand the screaming and yelling when I leave them - I know they'll calm down after a while.  It's the fact that I can't stand to put that kind of pressure and chaos on someone else.  I'll figure it out. 

We've been getting a TON of outside play due to the weather being so nice.  The girls love the pool, slide and slip n slide.  Today I put a bucket outside with water in it just to switch things up a bit.  I didn't put bathing suits on them because we weren't actually going 'swimming'.  But I knew they'd make themselves all wet and I really didn't care.  BUT I did ask them if they wanted to take their shoes off.  They all said no.  I assumed they understood that meant NOT to get their shoes wet.  However; I look over to see Emily stepping into the bucket WITH her shoes on!  I said "Emily!  Those are NOT water shoes!"  She said "Yeah they are.  Look see - they're wet now.  I put them in water."  This kid...... 

Family

June 1st - 3 tornados tore through MA.  I have family in Monson - one of the towns that was hit directly.  So Thursday I drove up there with the girls.  I brought some supplies but had no idea what would be needed.  All I knew was that my cousin, her daughter and my aunt were alive and all ok, no one had power, my aunts street was pretty much non existent any longer and that everyone in the town needed help.  So I brought lots of non parishible food, water, gatorade and some shovels.  Unforuntately I couldn't get to my family.  The streets were unpassible via vehicle and it was too dangerous to walk with the kids.  So I left what I brought at my cousins house (which was fine). 

Friday I still had to drive to VA (I already had a plane ticket to fly back on Sat night and the car needed to get down there).  So I drove to VA, had an awesome visit with my niece and her family down there and then flew back on Sat night. 

Sunday I drove back up to MA to help my aunt pack up her house.  Her house is still standing...barely.  She's one of the lucky ones to be able to have 'things' to retrieve.  But she has to get all of her things and get out - it's restricted access only. 

I'm headed back there today.  More to blog about but for now...I'll just post these pictures:

http://www.boston.com/news/weather/gallery/2011tornado_aerials/?s_campaign=8315

Trip

I'm making a power trip to VA this weekend.  Leaving Friday morning to drive down there and then flying back Saturday night.  I will be accomplishing 3 things:
1: Delivering a car to my brother-in-law
2: Seeing my niece who we all miss very very very much
3: Getting some ME time! (10 hours in the car officially constitutes as 'me' time in my book). 

The car needs to get to VA and it needs to be there soon.  Joey and I went back and forth as to what to do and who should drive it down there.  It was a battle because we ALL want to see Christina.  She can't come up here right now (or I would take her for the whole summer).  So if we want to see her - we need to go down there.  Joey has to work.  Pete has to work.  A vacation isn't really an option this week.  Soooo - off I go!!!  (I'm excited about this actually.  But bummed that I'll have less than 24 hours to spend with her).  We are hoping we can make a family trip down there sooner than later.  But for now - I'll take what I can get :)